Most of us dread confrontation. It feels uncomfortable and threatens that desire for peace and harmony.
We fear the other person’s reaction and the potential consequences.
Thinking about it though, this fear is often irrational becuase confrontation rarely lives up to our worst nightmares.
Right? A way to get around this feeling is to be firm but fair…
It’s the antidote to avoiding difficult conversations, a set of principles that can guide us in a healthy, productive way.
Confrontation for the sake of drama isn’t the norm – it’s ridiculous – usually, it stems from genuine concerns. Most people don’t intentionally stir up conflicts – they simply want to address issues directly.
A firm but fair approach means clearly expressing your perspective while remaining open to the other side:
“I work hard and maintain a positive attitude, but I’m feeling unappreciated because my pay has been delayed. Can we resolve this?” vs “where’s my money at?”
“I value our relationship, which is why I want to understand why you’re spending time with your ex. It makes me uncomfortable, though I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt me.” vs “stop hanging out with them”
The key is setting clear boundaries and expectations while truly listening to the other person’s point of view. This requires swallowing our pride and seeing things from their perspective – a struggle that tests our maturity.
Saying “yes” to everything to avoid confrontation isn’t the way though, it can lead to strained relationships, failed endeavors, and undue stress. We must learn to respectfully voice our needs and limits.
Like any skill, being firm but fair takes practice…
In the beginning, we may feel awkward, just as walking and talking did when we were young. But with time and dedication, it can become effortless – a vital part of handling conflict in a healthy, professional manner.
Joe DiAndrea 