Let’s cut the romantic bullshit and talk about marriage as the economic construct it really is.
The Outdated Institution
Marriage was once an economic necessity. Families combined resources to survive, and *hopefully* thrived. You needed the other person’s farm animals while they needed your land.
Or maybe the neighbor had a son and you had a daughter, and you doubled your estate in your neighborhood
It was about the win/win.
Now? In my opinion, it’s a glorified, expensive performance that costs you more than it’s worth.
Maybe it’s “fun” to plan and have a wedding, but who determines what fun is? There are lots of fun things to do in the world.
Maybe to one person, fun is spending quality time with the people that matter, family or not. And to others it’s getting together everyone they ever met.
For the religious aspect, marriage is a sacrament. However, it does not have to be an expensive sacrament. Getting eloped and having a priest bless the actions still counts.
The “dream” wedding has been pushed down people’s throats to have the wedding industry rake in the profits. From jewelers to venues to bachelorette parties and everything else in between.
All for what?
Knowing what you want is important, so is why you want something.
The Cold, Hard Financial Facts
The Wedding Industrial Complex
Average wedding cost: $30,000
That’s a down payment on a house or a year’s worth of investments or the travel experience of a lifetime.
Literally burning money for a single day of performance, for who?
Marriage is an emotional act, and emotions don’t always make sense. From a financial point of view, consider $30,000 compounded at 7% over 30 years. That’s $240,000 in retirement, enough to last the couple call it FOUR YEARS in retirement.
What’s more important? a day of fun or four years of retirement?
Ongoing Financial Drain
- Joint taxes? Complicated
- Potential alimony if things go south
- Legal fees for divorce can obliterate wealth and all the time it took to build it. Especially if the couple is on bad terms.
Resource Sharing is Obsolete
- Modern technology makes splitting bills easy. So does auto payment. You don’t need to other families farm to survive
- Legal marriage isn’t needed to cohabitate, co-parent, or share a bank account.
so what’s the point of a wedding again?
Alternative Models to Traditional Marriage
- Long-term partnerships
- Legally separate cohabitation
- Commitment ceremonies
A New Focus
- Prioritize personal growth
- Maintain financial independence
- Create intentional relationships
- Define commitment on your terms, not what other people think you need or want.
The Bottom Line
There’s no right or wrong, just different. Knowing what you want and why you want something is SO important.
Marriage is a legacy system. And like most legacy systems, it needs a complete overhaul.
Your love doesn’t need a government stamp of approval. Your commitment doesn’t require a $30,000 party.
Stay flexible. Stay independent. Stay smart. Question everything.
Joe DiAndrea 