The Unremarkable Remarkable Moment
My great-grandfather just passed away.
His passing wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t sudden.
We saw it coming, which somehow made it easier.
This is coming from someone who tragically lost both parents unexpectedly.
The Landscape of Loss
Death in a family is a complex terrain. It’s more than grief. It’s a moment where:
- Generations intersect
- Histories become tangible
- Unspoken stories demand attention
Some cultures even celebrate death,
now isn’t that different?
Not wanting to die, but accepting that death is a part of life and that’s what makes it beautiful.
Family as Living History
My great-grandfather lived through eras I’ll never fully comprehend:
- Technological revolutions
- Social transformations
- Economic upheavals
His life wasn’t just a personal journey.
It was like a living document of collective human experience over the course of time, with some major events happening.
- World War II
- The creation of the Internet
- COVID 19
Just like they are today, during this time.
The world is ever evolving, how do we take that?
The Unexpected Conversations
Ironically, death creates conversations that never happened in life:
- Buried family tensions surface
- Quiet stories find their voice
- Unresolved narratives seek resolution
Practical Realities of Passing
Beyond emotional landscapes, there are concrete tasks:
- Managing estate paperwork
- Coordinating family communications
- Preserving physical memories
But these are just surface-level interactions.
Thankfully, he planned everything for when he died. The casket, the type of ceremony, where he was going to go, and paid for it all. This helped tremendously from an emotional standpoint.
Navigating Grief: A Practical Guide
Understanding Your Grief Journey
Grief isn’t linear. It’s messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal. Here are some strategies to help:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings
- There’s no “right” way to grieve
- Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up
- Sadness, anger, relief, numbness, celebration are all valid
- Create Meaningful Rituals
- Share stories
- Create a memory book or digital archive
- Keep small mementos that spark connection
- Practical Self-Care
- Maintain basic routines
- Get enough sleep
- Eat regularly
- Allow yourself rest and space
- Seek Support
- Talk to family members
- Consider grief counseling
- Join support groups
- Don’t isolate yourself
- Preserve the Legacy
- Ask family for stories
- Write down family history
- Understand your family’s journey
- Find ways to honor their memory
When Grief Feels Overwhelming
- It’s okay to ask for help
- Professional counseling can provide tools
- Grief takes time – be patient with yourself
The Deeper Transmission
My great-grandfather wasn’t simply a person who died.
He was:
- A collection of experiences
- A repository of family wisdom
- A bridge between past and present
His death isn’t an ending. It’s a pause.
A comma in our family’s ongoing story.
An invitation to reflect, remember, and continue.
RIP Benny
Joe DiAndrea 