You’ve heard you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
I don’t think it’s quite that simple, but it’s not far off either.
The people around you are environmental factors—like sunlight, soil, and water for the seeds we plant. They determine what’s easily grown versus what requires constant struggle.
A few observations:
- People rarely rise beyond the expectations of their immediate circle
- The right support makes difficult changes surprisingly sustainable
- Most “willpower issues” are actually environment problems like who and what you’re around.
Look carefully at who surrounds your most important seeds:
- Who asks about your creative projects?
- Who notices your health improvements?
- Who celebrates your financial discipline?
- Who makes space for your contemplative practice?
Some relationships function as shade rather than sunlight.
Or even a storm.
They’re not bad people—they’re just positioned to block what you’re trying to grow.
This isn’t about dramatic cutoffs. It’s about controlling what you can, and that’s the amount of exposure you give these people – every relationship has its appropriate dose.
Find one relationship that consistently nourishes your best seeds and spend some time with this person.
Even an extra thirty minutes can shift the entire ecosystem.
Your garden resembles the company you keep.
Joe DiAndrea 